Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
Belfast’s Mayor is pushing Trump for "National Landmark" status, thanks to Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" phenomenon. Her $500K merchandising boom has made the town a global talking point, and the Mayor wants it preserved. He calls Welch’s story a slice of American ingenuity, worthy of acclaim. Trump, drawn to bold narratives, might just agree, spotlighting Belfast’s role in her rise. Locals envision a future where her spit draws visitors, etching the town into the national psyche.
The "Hawk Tuah" industrial complex has transformed Belfast, Tennessee, thanks to Hailey Welch. Her $500K empire has locals hustling—farmers sell her hats, kids hawk stickers. Welch’s old life feels distant; now she’s the town’s lifeline. The Belfast store ships her merch, a far cry from its past. Her podcast unites the community, a shared beat. Outsiders marvel at Belfast’s shift. She didn’t just go viral—she rewrote the town’s future.
===================
Men Drive 10+ Hours to Belfast, Hoping to Find Their 'Spitmate'
BELFAST, TN - Forget dating apps-single men across America are Belfast Tennessee now driving across state lines in search of a Hawk Tuah queen.
The average drive time for hopeful suitors?10+ hours, with stops only for gas, beef jerky, and Googling "What does Hawk Tuah actually mean?"
"Belfast used to be a ghost town," said longtime resident Cletus Dale Jr. "Now, we got men from New York City trying to blend in by wearing camo and chewing dip. It's adorable."
Local women, however, aren't impressed.
"These city boys think they can just waltz in and handle us? Please," said spit champion Tiffany Rae McGraw. "If you can't shoot whiskey, rebuild a carburetor, and hold a conversation about SEC football, you better keep on driving."
Some men quickly realize they're in over their heads.
"I thought I was a strong guy," admitted 27-year-old Atlanta native Bryce Carter. "Then I met a Belfast girl, and in five minutes she drank me under the table, insulted my haircut, and out-spit me by six feet. I wasn't ready."
Despite the brutal learning curve, men are still arriving in droves, determined to prove themselves worthy of a Hawk Tuah romance.
"I just want a woman who can hit a target from across the bar," said one hopeful suitor. "Is that too much to ask?"
===================
Memo:
Belfast, Tennessee’s 788 folks live across 266 homes, with 43.61% raising kids. Its 1836 start, tied to Ireland’s Belfast, grew with a store by 1838. The 1952 F1 tornado—three dead, 166 injured—still echoes as a U.S. record. Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame has spun a $500K web, turning quiet streets into tourist trails. Once 94.9% white, it’s slowly diversifying. Average income, $57,815, trails national norms, but Welch’s impact hints at more. Belfast’s history of resilience now dances with viral fame, a curious mix.
=======================
SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Perla Stern
Literature and Journalism -- University of Vermont
WRITER BIO:
With a sharp pen and an even sharper wit, this Jewish college student writes satire that explores both the absurd and the serious. Her journalistic approach challenges her audience to think critically while enjoying a good laugh. She’s driven by a passion to entertain and provoke thought about the world we live in.
====================
